1)   First thing is to focus on your own needs and desires that DON'T interfere or have to use others to achieve. Basically set goals within yourself and to achieve physically, as you move toward achieving them by developing yourself. The reason why you must not interfere with other people's lives being so important, is because your life is your value and only you will live with yourself for the rest of your life. So it’s important to bring yourself up first before you set your focus on others. At some point, bringing up others will be a part of bringing yourself up, but as a first step, you must set focus on building yourself. People come and go, and you can't rely on others to achieve what you desire and gain what you need. It's up to yourself to find it, and when you have done so, your value to others and yourself will rise, because it's you that has done the achievement and no one else. Yet the people, who see your value, will want to be able to do and learn what you did, in that then you can share and grow with others. For your needs, it's the emotions and feelings that you need to gain to achieve your desires. First know what you want of yourself and want for your future. Then think what do you need to achieve it and how will you do it. Then figuring out your next step. Along the way you may need those motivations, love, certainty, or whatever else it is you need. Getting it from others is only done, when you are going in for what you need and only to gain it so you can achieve what you desire to achieve knowing in long term to help others do the same. Your feeling and emotions you may need, are things you must make an effort to find through whatever it is, if it's meditation, or finding guidance online, or from family or friend. But everyone else that you try to look up to or want to be with, if it won't help achieve your goals by doing so, then they are off limits to be used for now. Building value, is not about playing hard to get, it's about focusing on what you need and desire and achieving it, then helping others do the same from sharing the knowledge. Your knowledge is power and knowledge is gained from learning and experiencing as people look up to power to gain what they believe they need to achieve they're desires and needs. As we live, we are always looking up to what we can gain more of, not looking down and trying to loose what we have. Just as the rich are always leveling up trying to get richer, as that is what all should be doing one step at a time.

2)  Second step is to practice things that are new to you, in other words try new things and get in a routine of change. The change will structure the mind to adapt to making quick choices when situations change, keeping yourself value up-float and balanced and only successfully moving forward. Change also keeps the mind fresh and organized, being able to think straight and learn more in the process of experiencing more as knowledge is power and power is value. The more things you can do to gain more knowledge, the more power you’ll have and the more value you will have. The more people will look up to you and the more you can share with others as well being the more knowledge you have to use to gain more and achieve your desires. Seek what you don’t know, using the knowledge you do know as your knowledge grows as if its wealth, as the rich get richer. Then being prepared to help others grow being the last of change to bring into your life, by learning from what others don’t know, using what you know.  

3)  Third thing, is now to build a network, and guide others. Share your knowledge and use your knowledge to develop others as they follow in your path as they see it has value. But one secret is to not give away everything, only some of it to keep reeling them in, wanting to know more. If you give away all of your knowledge being all of your value, they no longer need you. Give them just enough that they need you, but don’t hate you. They will keep following in your path as it has value, building what they know and learning from the gaps of what they don’t know.